Practice Being Human (CL)

The theme for the month of March is "Salvation." That word means many things...
But when I think of "Salvation" I think of why many people come to church.
They are looking for something to make them feel "whole" or "healed" or "connected" to a community of purpose, high ideals, and support.

I spend a lot of my time with the new members of our community, organizing and teaching the "Welcome to UUCA" classes. I love teaching these classes, because it is usually the first time that people learn what it truly means to be a Unitarian Universalist. They learn the history, consider our principles and sources of inspiration, and discover how to get connected here at UUCA. I hear a lot of things when I teach these classes... Usually something like "I can't believe this place exists! I am so grateful to have found this church."
What did you think when you found this church?
Or, if you grew up UU, why did you stay?

That starry-eyed, idealistic view of the church is so fun! I love working with people who are optimistic, hopeful, and excited about their place in the church, and the role of the church in the wider world. It is good to be idealistic!
(An aside about idealism: I once had a conversation with an Orthodox Rabbi about what Unitarian Universalism is, and what we believe and honor. After my description he smirked and said, "Isn't that kind of idealistic?" To which I replied, "Isn't that the point of religion? To call us back to our highest calling?"  He smiled and responded, "Point taken.")

The down-side of idealism is that it can be fragile.
People build up the vision of Unitarian Universalism, this faith they have claimed as their own, as the Beloved Community itself. But here's the truth of the matter: The church is a group of people. People are flawed. People make mistakes. And thus, the church does, too.

The vision of our community is that we are striving to BUILD the Beloved Community. We're not there yet. And with the diversity of opinion, viewpoint, and personality that our congregation attracts, we are sure to have disagreements, or hurt feelings occasionally.
But the idealism of our community can help us remember our higher ideals. When we disagree, get frustrated, feel left-out, or have hurt feelings, we can strive to remain in community rather than running away. We can reach out to someone we trust for help and support. We can practice being human.

It was the UU theologian James Luther Adams who once said something like, "Church is where we practice being human." Being human means we make mistakes. Being human means we can sometimes be selfish. Being human means we are not perfect. But, being human can also mean we recognize our errors, we can work to make amends, and we can begin again in love. And only through practice can we strive toward building the Beloved Community.

I meet with people, often, who have felt disappointed by the church.
Maybe their needs aren't being met.
Maybe someone was rude to them in coffee hour.
Maybe they are feeling worried about the direction of the church.
Maybe they can't find their place in this busy community.
I love this church, and I wish that nobody ever felt disappointed.
But, I know that we are all just a group of people, trying our best, and striving to make things right.

Please take this as my personal invitation to reach out if you're feeling disappointed.
Things will not be immediately changed to your specifications.
That's what it means to be in community... We don't always get exactly what we want.
But, your voice can be heard, and your needs can be acknowledged.

If there is something you need--a ride, a phone call, a visit, or a listening ear-- please reach out. There are different options for ministerial support, a lay pastoral care team, and numerous groups that can help out in many ways. We do not have E.S.P. (remember, we're just people!) and we cannot read minds.

We are here to help inspire, and empower, and support.
We all mess up, but our idealism should help us keep going, rather than crumble at the first sign of difficulty. It's hard work, being in a community of humans. But practice can bring us closer to the Beloved Community.
Amen!

-Rev. Christina Leone, CLeone@uuannapolis.org, 410-266-8044 x101.

Sifting Through Disappointment (DG)

Today is Ash Wednesday. And, I am not anticipating many of us coming to the church today to receive ashes in the ancient Christian tradition, but we are open. If you do come you might leave disappointed, because we stopped doing that rite 5 or so hundred years ago.

Ash Wednesday marks the start of the Lenten season, a 40 day time period of sacrifice, abstinence and contemplation in preparation for Easter --another holiday many of us look forward to with great excitement. At Easter we will celebrate renewal, the return of spring, and maybe even the resurrection of… hope or a savior.

You should know I have mixed feelings about Easter. For now, suffice it to say, through my ambivalence I recognize in the holiday a chance to connect with history and traditions, (Perhaps even great music. Easter is made for Bach after all).

Easter is down a long road of embodied memories that might not be my own personal memories, but pieces of collective consciousness. All of these things are part and parcel of the religious experience, and by extension—the human experience. I recognize in the austerities of Lent too, a certain opportunity to connect with a history that is absolutely not my own. I am, after all, a dyed in the wool 21^st century, Unitarian Universalist. But the memories of Lent might include me all the same. The memories are irresistible and they might even suck you into them too!

Embodied memories? Collective memories? At first, it all sounds strange and impossible; like a post-modernist excursus gone over one bridge too far. Is there anything that we can collectively remember? And, how might we recall it, if we needed to? Especially, if we needed it to save our own lives? This is something that transcends heritage. It’s not American or French memory, Victorian or 22^nd century memory, but human memory. It’s transcendent in that way.

I think that transcendent human memory might be disappointment, a collective human remembrance of unmet expectations. We have all been disappointed about something:

Disappointed about ourselves or our abilities.

Our lack of ability.

By our failures and sometimes even disappointed about our successful accomplishments. (L'Embarras des richesses)  Perhaps we did it “too” well, or too fast, or too slow, or not at all.

Disappointed by loved ones who weren’t there, who are here. Or the children whose personal ambitions contradicted our own, more robust ambitions for them.

Perhaps we are disappointed that human lives are short and filled with uncertainties and dreams and reversals of fortune.

And, we might be disappointed that in the end a hero will not come to save us from ourselves? Mission “not” accomplished.

Whatever, the specific disappointment, we all share in the experience of disappointment and its memory.

Our culture provides us with many anodynes to distract us from the pains of disappointment and a host of fancy drugs to avoid the memory. However, if we want to overcome our disappointment, we must pass with full consciousness through them.

I recommend in the days and weeks leading up the celebration of Easter we consider passing through our own Lenten period to contemplate the memory of life’s shortcomings, reflecting and sifting through the disappointments that are our human heritage. We may draw on tradition, ritual and memories—our own or the memories of others. (The Christian mythos might be useful) As we do this, let us look real hard for lessons and other buried treasure; new opportunities hidden in the old ones. We will have to make sacrifices, perhaps the first of which will need to be our pride, and the second our guilt and third –shame. Let’s also look for forgiveness, our theme for the month, it might be the hardest thing to find, but it is worth the search. If we can find forgiveness in the muck of disappointments use it on yourself first and then on others.

We can always talk about the experience, our triumphs and our set-backs. See you in church. Daniel.