Our Best Laid Plans (CL)

Some of you might have heard my exciting news already... For those of you who weren't in church on July 15, or haven't heard it through the grapevine or seen it on Facebook, I'm engaged to be married! This is, of course, a happy and exciting time for my fiancé Brian and me. We are basking in the warm wishes of our family and friends, and looking forward to our future together. We are also in the whirlwind of wedding plans, since those take between 6 and 18 months to coordinate. It's been less than two weeks, and many ideas are already flitting around... Which brings me to my thoughts for today: our best laid plans almost never work out as we expect.

This past week, Brian and I visited his family, and our friends, in Chicago (where I went to seminary). While there, we attended the first birthday party of a friend's neice. This was a rather extravagant bash for a one-year old, complete with outdoor tented seating, a bounce-house, and a three-tier Mickey Mouse cake covered in fondant. Needless to say, the birthday girl is teething and was less than festive, and the summer heat forced the guests inside for much of the party. The birthday girl's mother was stressed, worried about her teething child, and upset that the little girl didn't get to "enjoy" her bash. Most of the guests, however, thought the party was a hit, enjoyed the food, and cooed over the sweet baby. This party wasn't successful because of the decorations, or the cake, or the bounce-house. The carefully color-coordinated food choices mostly went unnoticed, and all the plans and worries added up only to stressful planning.

This was an excellent lesson for me: all the plans in the world will never add up to what is in the imagination. The dreams are never the reality, and if the dreams are a guide and not an exact template, we can enjoy the reality that much better.

In a 2010 edition of O Magazine, a woman wrote about her experience letting go of her plans while on vacation. She wrote, “what if, instead of meticulously planning, I were to just show up in a new place and let the experience unfold?” She explains how, using prewritten cards with questions (in Japanese text, written by a friend), she asked strangers where to eat, where to stay, and their recommendations for things to do. She literally had no plans, and let her experience unfold. According to the article, it was an amazing adventure.

I am not the Buddha. Letting go of details is not my strong suit. Living in the moment is difficult for me. I imagine some of you are in the same boat with me. But, as I embark on this second year as your Faith Development Minister, I hope to “let go” more often. I will still plan, and organize, and create lists and spreadsheets, but my #1 goal for this year is to allow the adventure to unfold, to allow the brilliant, hardworking, and committed members of this church follow their spirits, and my job will be to follow in support, joining in the adventure. 

And meanwhile, I will also be planning my wedding, but not down to the very last detail…   

-Rev. Christina