Tell me about this god you don't believe in (CL)

In my third year of graduate school to become a clinical psychologist, I finally had a true calling to the ministry. In seminary they make you tell your "call" story a lot, and I had never thought about calling before that moment in graduate school, but that's what it was. I was learning to do a form of emotion-focused psychotherapy in which the client considers a question or decision in their life. The technique is to have the client "split" the two sides of the decision into two chairs, and to take turns speaking fully from each side, so the two sides can communicate and hear one another. I was playing the role of client, so I chose an easy question... "Should I leave graduate school and go to seminary?"
First I spoke from the chair representing the stronger side: "No, I should stay in graduate school." The voice from that side was rational, methodical, and convincing. There were many reasons to stay in graduate school.
But when I was asked to switch chairs and speak from the side representing the part of me which wanted to leave and go to seminary, I hesitated. Then a voice from within me, a voice I had never heard or acknowledged, spoke loudly and clearly: "You. Never. Listen. To me!"

Whoa! I was floored by this voice that needed to be heard (and my poor classmate had a harder case on her hands than she was prepared for).
I don't know if that voice was my subconscious, my heart, or God.
I choose to call it God.

Now let's just get something straight. I don't believe in God. 
Well... this story might better explain it...
There's a story of a minister-- some say it's an Episcopal Minister, others attribute it to a Harvard chaplain, or to Marcus Borg (a liberal Christian theologian), Forrest Church (a UU minister),or to John Buehrens (past President of the UUA)-- the minister tells someone on a plane or train that he is a minister and the person replies, "Oh, I don't believe in God," to which the minister responds, "Tell me about this god you don't believe in. Chances are, I don't believe in that god either."  That's me. I don't believe in THAT God.

The truth is, there are myriad religions in the world, all of whom have slightly, or largely, different viewpoints on who or what God is or isn't. Even the Christian community has widely varying viewpoints on the characteristics of God, and the Bible contains a wide range of perspectives about God.

When I say I don't believe in THAT God, I mean the general idea of God as an entity, a force with a will, a being that I can talk to. But I do believe in a force beyond myself, an energy-source greater than the sum of the parts I can observe in the universe.
Maybe it's quantum physics.
Maybe it's the interdependent web of all existence.
Maybe I just want a simple word to sum up the beauty, grandeur, power, and energy in the cosmos.
Maybe that's why I use the word God.

I know that can be confusing to people. But I'm okay with being a little confusing. I'm okay with asking folks to think outside of a little box that contains that god that some people believe in, and for which most people have different definitions. I'm okay with stretching the definition of words a bit to use them in a new and powerful way (isn't that what the gay community did with the word "gay"? And what a beautiful thing that was! Why can't we do it?).

That voice that spoke to me... or from me... That day in graduate school forced me to reconsider the path I was on. It called me beyond my reasons and my calculations to something that could only be based on faith... Faith that if I followed that calling, it would work out alright. I followed that calling, and I am grateful to the God of Many Names for speaking loudly that day.